Just a few years ago, on this very date, in this very camp, a gruesome murder took place. One so heinous that the victim's affluent family vowed to buy out and demolish the entire park, regardless of who stands in their way. Some say that the killer still prowls these woods. Others believe the spot draws new killers in like predators are drawn to the scent of blood. All we know for sure is that it's time for Camp Conover to re-open its gates... and we should probably start by painting over that "Camp Cadaver" graffiti...
The Villains
A very rich, very eccentric family, and the unsavory people they employ. They're cut-throat, self-important sociopaths who value money and status above human life. If you asked them, however, they would say I'm just a hater. In fact, most of the locals look at the Villains as pillars of the community. If they only knew...
The Family
Most of them hate each other's guts... but when it comes time to read the Tycoon's will, they'll all want to be in his good graces. Hopefully they inherit the money and property... but not the strange cloud of death that seems to hover over the household.
The Tycoon
A billionaire industrialist who earned his fortune in oil, tobacco, factory farming, and other controversial things people generally seem to dislike. When the Tycoon's oldest child and heir was the first victim at Camp Cadaver "all those years ago", he swore to tear down the park it resides in and destroy anyone who stood in his way. Even if they weren't really standing in his way. Even if they were a little off to the side. He'll probably build a mall there, since that seems really obvious and clichéd.
The Crackpot
The crazy uncle we all have, though no one is quite sure whose uncle he actually is. The Crackpot has forgone a life of luxury to live in a bunker at an undisclosed location. The Tycoon is the only one who knows how to get in touch with him, and the pass code is supposedly "Grassy Knoll". Don't tell anyone.
The Identity Thief
The Identity Thief left drama school to "find herself". She didn't. What she did find, however, was a series of social security numbers and identification cards. The Tycoon wonders how much money she spends on wigs each year. It's more than he thinks.
The Mistress
Nobody tell the Tycoon's wife. Which wife? The current one. His ex-wives are all aware. Most of them were the Mistress at one point. Also, don't tell the Tycoon that he isn't her only love interest. You know what? How about you just don't talk about people's private lives? Rude.
The Peeping Tom
The creepy cousin with boundary issues. The Peeping Tom spends his nights wandering, and so do his eyes. He has quite a lot of secrets, and it'll cost you if you want him to keep them. The price is usually silence when you know a bit too much about his friends and family.
The Stalker
Too entitled to accept the words "leave me alone, I don't even know who you are", the Stalker is the Tycoon's niece. He ensured she got anything she wanted, and now she seems to have trouble discerning between gifts people freely give you, and human beings who scream when they wake up to find you staring at them.
The Tattle Tale
The Tycoon's youngest daughter, sent off to private school at a young age. The Tattle Tale wants to earn the Tycoon's attention and affection. The easiest way to do this is by ratting out others until he thinks she's the only one he can trust. She has few friends and many enemies. Who cares? She has daddy's approval.
The Hired Help
The Tycoon has his fingers in a lot of pies, though he's never invested in a bakery. There's an idea. Tycoon Brand Baked Goods... Made without any semblance of love. As long as the money is there, these miscreants will be available to solve the Tycoon's problems.
The Bouncer
Working the door at the infamous "Stub Club", the Bouncer knows how to identify and neutralize dangerous people. Since the Tycoon owns several local businesses, including the club, the Bouncer can be called upon to make sure people with murderous intent stay away from the ultimate VIP, the Tycoon.
The Butler
The Butler worked diligently for the Tycoon's father, and his father's father, and his father's father's father... Wait. How is that even possible? ... In any case, the Butler does what needs to be done and never asks questions. Unless the question is "Sir, should I make them suffer or kill them quickly?"
The Chauffeur
A skilled driver who gets criminals out of tight situations... for a price. Rumor has it that the Chauffeur used to race professionally until he was caught huffing the air out of tires. That doesn't even do anything. Why was he fired for that?
The Lawyer
He's in more hot water than any of his clients. The Lawyer represents the Tycoon in court... when he can't bribe or threaten the case away. Lawsuits? Restraining orders? Murder charges? The Lawyer is here to fight for you. In the end, he'll probably be your cellmate.
The Maid
Stoic and unflappable, the Maid is a skilled fixer capable of making any crime scene sparkle. Unless she's out of Lemon Pledge™. No one gets DNA out from under the fingernails of a murder victim like the Maid. Now available at your local mansion.
The Manager
The Manager works at the most prestigious employment firm in town, and excels at placing the right person in the right position. She sees your strengths and your weaknesses. She thinks your weaknesses are just adorable. Wow, you have so many weaknesses. Aren't you something special?
The Mole
Who says you can't work for the U.S. Government AND a corrupt Tycoon? The U.S. Government says you can't. The Mole doesn't seem to mind. He's adept at bugging conversations and eavesdropping on private conversations. Please speak directly into the house plant.
The Plastic Surgeon
Welcome to the Plastic Surgeon's elite cosmetic alteration spa. Yes, it's in a strip mall. Yes, it used to be "Papa Pepperoni's Pizza Palace". No, they don't have pizza. Do you want the Plastic Surgeon to fix your horrible, ugly mug or not?
The Politician
The Politician is an upstanding citizen, protecting the country's ideals and ensuring a better future for our children. If you'd prefer the opposite, you can make a small donation to his campaign fund. Add a note detailing exactly how you want him to ruin the future for your children.
The Sawbones
The Tycoon needs to take a yearly physical to keep his position at the head of his company. He doesn't like physicals. The Sawbones checks his pulse and deems him "healthy enough". He's also available to remove bullets or sew up stab wounds if the emergency room is too low-brow for you. Keep in mind that if he makes a house call, he's probably going to crash on your couch for several months.
The Heroes
A motley crew of youngsters, teens, and adults who would very much appreciate it if people would stop killing them. They mean well, but are prone to distrust and voting each other for sacrifice.
Camp Residents
Camp Conover was recently opened after years of abandonment. Hopefully, we can all move past the tragedy that unfolded there and enjoy many happy days of fun and adventure! Probably not.
The Camper
The Camper has no idea what's going on. He just came here to make wallets and go kayaking. Easily spooked and constantly confused, the Camper is just as likely to believe a killer's lies as he is to back up a fellow camper in danger.
The Counselor
A former camper, the Counselor enjoyed her stay at Camp Conover so much that she decided to come back as a staff member. She hopes to help kids make happy memories that will last a life time, but her sunny disposition fades quickly when she senses someone may not be a positive influence.
The Insomniac
Strung out on coffee and over-stimulated by late night horror movies, the Insomniac wanders the camp on some nights. Usually, he finds campers making out by the lake. Sometimes, he finds Counselors making out by the lake. One time, he found two local farmers making out by the lake. He stopped going to the lake.
The Lifeguard
The inspiration for many embarrassing summer crushes and questionable dreams, the Lifeguard is here to make sure campers don't drown. That, and to make sure he tans evenly and gets to talk to all the cutest staff members. Mostly the not-drowning thing.
The Orphan
The target of many rude questions, the Orphan is a camper who forgives and forgets quite a lot. What she doesn't want to forget, however, is the friends she's made along the way. The Orphan is quiet and reserved... unless you mess with her scrapbook. There's some important stuff in there.
The Park Ranger
Always hanging around Camp Conover, the Park Ranger wants to make sure everyone's okay. Also, he wants to make sure no one is littering or starting fires. He's fond of the saying "Every litter bit hurts." Everyone rolls their eyes when he's not looking. They don't do it when he's looking because he carries a rifle everywhere.
The Vegan
The Vegan exists for two reasons. First, tell everyone that they're vegan. Second, to complain about the meals in the mess hall. Very adept at foraging and picking berries, though I suppose she has to be.
The Victim
Reckless, thoughtless, and destined to be lifeless. The Victim has a lot of bad ideas, but he's really, really sure of them. His self-confidence is only matched by his clumsiness, which makes activity days very entertaining for everyone else. Constantly suggests the group split up.
The Virgin
Made fun of for "not even kissing a boy", the Virgin is pretty sure none of the other campers have, either. Still, she's possessed of a certain... "otherworldly" quality that causes her to stand out. It's not just the birthmark in the shape of a crucifix, either.
High Schoolers
As part of the camp's re-opening project, several high school students are picking up some extra credit by helping out where they can. Well, some of them are here for the extra credit... for others, this is a punishment. Luckily the school staff is available to make sure everyone's getting what they deserve, either way.
The Principal
Hard-nosed and deaf to all please for leniency, the Principal is very unpopular with his students. That is, until he expels someone they dislike even more. Then, suddenly, he's their hero. Man, he gets no respect from these little brats. No respect. He patrolled the halls of he school with a baseball bat until the school board told him to stop. Not because it was dangerous, but because it was unapproved use of sporting equipment.
The Bus Driver
The Bus Driver is tired of the singing, the laughing, the talking, the yelling, and the jumping. She's tired of driving students this way and that. She tired of students missing their stops. The Bus Driver drops students off at the wrong stop once in a while just to make herself smile.
The Cheerleader
Like, totally, like, you know? The Cheerleader is, like, a really adept acrobat and, like, athlete. You know? People, like, totally underestimate cheerleaders, but it's a real sport. Let's see you get on top of a human pyramid. You'd, like, turn it into a parallelogram! By the way, parallelograms are, like, her favorite quadrilateral.
The Class President
The Class President is quite popular. You'd have to be if you wanted to get elected to the position in one of the most heated candidacies in school history. Buying everyone pizza at lunch time helped, too. Behind the Class President's pearly white smile and silver tongue is a fighting spirit that's willing to play just a bit dirty.
The Final Girl
The daughter of a local police officer who teaches karate in his off time, the Final Girl learned how to fracture a man's larynx at a young age. A bit too young, really. She fractured a birthday clown's larynx. His laughs are just whistles, now. He changed his name from Mr. Chuckles to Mr. Squeaks.
The Gossip
Every school has its "mean girls", and The Gossip is the meanest. She'll find out exactly who you have a crush on. She won't let you forget the time you had an accident in the second grade. She believes she's a bastion of truth who's just "too real" for people, but between you and me I think she's worse than the Psychos.
Goth
Hall Monitor
Jock
Loner
Nerd
Prom Queen
Rebel
Concerned Citizens
Babysitter
Cat Lady
Chaperone
Delivery Boy
Journalist
Priest
Witness